I mean, first and foremost, conditional support is not support.

But the catch-22 here is that a large number of you still don’t believe that nb people can be dysphoric in the first place.

And the problem is that the numbers aren’t as important as the fact that those are generally the loudest people, and seem to be the vast majority of tag-trollers.

A lot of the most vocal folks also never ask whether someone experiences dysphoria, instead just leaping to the conclusion that if sometime identifies as nb then they must not. And graciously allow them to be A Real Trans™ only after they say they do. Which in other words means giving them shit, until and unless they cave in and share some of their most personal stuff.

But one of the things that bugs me the most is that, of all the people I know in real life who identify as trans, and either have done, or still do, HRT, in order to present as a gender they weren’t identified as at birth, including me, about half of them identify as genderqueer. And this doesn’t seem to be uncommon across the community.

(I think all of these genderqueer folks do identify specifically as “genderqueer”, and not “nonbinary”, to be clear. Also, I am not including surgery here because I don’t know about this for all of them, it’s hideously expensive, and it’s none of my business.)

But you guys point at these folks and call them the real trans people. Because to you they look like regular binary people, and you assume they must experience whatever amount or kind of dysphoria you do.

(Not to even mention those of us who have transitioned to present as genderqueer, which everyone seems to think is either impossible or somehow terrible.)

It’s not support. At best, it’s pressure to want to transition.

All right – at BEST, it’s support, if and only if you want to transition to present as a binary gender.

But for most people, that’s pressure. Because it’s applied to people who, as a group, don’t even have the space to think about whether they want to transition, what transition would look like for them, how they would afford such a thing… and who are automatically rejected, by the same system that you folks consistently tell us only rejects *you* because they’ve heard of *us*.

This is what really bothers me the most about the transmedicalist discourse.

It triggers the shit out of me, honestly, because I’ve had to watch my old doctor, up on a giant movie screen, twist what I told her about myself in order to make fun of me, not just as someone who is ridiculous and shouldn’t be allowed to transition, but as representative of an entire class of people who are ridiculous and shouldn’t be allowed to transition.

In the context of a documentary *about* genderqueers, which should have known better than to uncritically quote her.

And it had nothing to do with dysphoria; it never really does in the cissexist medical establishment. It is always about them judging your gender and what do with it, whether you’re binary or not. It was purely that she thought I was, essentially, a special snowflake who wasn’t really trans.

My experience going to her had already fucked me up badly. I had been lucky enough to find another place that was a free city clinic that was actually genderqueer-friendly, and had already started transitioning.

But seeing her trash-talking me on screen traumatized me so much that I’m STILL fucked up by it. Even though I was at a point in my life where I was incredibly dissociated at all times and rarely felt anything, I was literally shaking all over for most of the rest of the movie.

And it really pisses me off that now, I routinely see my fellow trans people claim that that level of fucked up medical gatekeeping is not only MY fault as a “tucute” or “genderspecial” or “transtrender” (almost a 20-year trend by now, but ok), but that my experience is also somehow to blame for every time a doctor doesn’t believe *them.*

Again: conditional support is not support.